Things to Think About When You Have Time to Think

  • What should I have for dinner that will switch things up? Frozen food? Isn’t frozen food unhealthy? Is there such thing as frozen food that is healthy for you?
  • What is Barack Obama doing right at the current moment? Is he shitting? Do you think Obama thinks about Trump when he’s shitting? I mean it makes sense that the very act of shitting makes Obama think of Trump.
  • What bubblegum flavor doesn’t exist yet? Coffee? Yes, one of the many purposes of gum is to allow for your breath to smell not like shit (Donald Trump) but what if I want to chew the flavor of coffee but not consume it? Will that still have caffeine in it? Will it still stain my teeth?
  • If there was a 10.5 earthquake going on right now, would I be screaming out the building like as if I were in a haunted house? Or would I stay completely still?
  • What if I drank my pee? Would I still pee the same pee or will I pee clear since drinking your own piss considered healthy?
  • Why are hot dogs so unhealthy? Is it the government is trying to control poor people? If hot dogs were really that unhealthy wouldn’t there be a vegan option? Or are those called veggie rolls? Why is it even called hot dog? What would be a better title for a hot dog?
  • Do you think Beyonce ever thinks about Lady Gaga since the Telephone music video? Would Beyonce ever want another collab with Gaga? Another song called Text Message? Or FaceTime? Or for a 2000 throwback: you got kik?

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