“What kind of music do you listen to?”

You know that annoying question that everyone asks when they try to get to know you? I get this question asked constantly because ya know, everyone wants to get to know me. But this type of question is very personal to me. Like if you want to know something this personal about me, you may as well ask for my nudes. This type of question makes me respond in many different ways depending on the person, sex, or age. The thoughts that go into my head:

• Should I say something totally hip? Something like Jay-Z? Or Linkin Park? Didn’t they both release an album that has gotten critical success?
• I have to say something that doesn’t make me sound super mainstream or super gay.

What I want to say:

• Pop music! Pop music that makes me fuck it up.
• Lady Gaga, Lorde, Little Mix, Dua Lipa’s song “New Rules,” the old Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez’s song “Bad Liar,” almost every Whitney Huston song, Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, basically every gay icon. (That includes Harry Styles too).

What I actually say:

• I listen to almost anything except for Country. So pop music, rap, alternative (or I sometimes say indie depending on the person) rock, and oldies.
• (Depending on the person): A) “I love Taylor Swift too.” Or B) “I hate Taylor Swift.”
• I don’t really listen to music.

What I actually mean:

• I listen to all of pop music except for Justin Bieber, Charlie Puth, and all the other fuck boys.
• I hate heavy metal.
• The only alternative music I listen to is Lana Del Rey and Florence and the Machine.
• The only rock music I listen to is the Shrek soundtrack, Camp Rock, and Miranda Cosgrove’s “About You Now.”
• The only Latin music I listen to is Selena. Not Gomez. Quintanilla. I only like Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Like” and Rebelde.
• The only oldies I listen to is Diana Ross and the Supremes, Etta James, Stevie Wonder, Queen, Madonna, and every single song from all three High School Musical soundtracks.
• The only boy bands I identify with is One Direction and The Jonas Brothers. Don’t know them? Then get the fuck out of my way you uncultured ogre!
• I hate the snake but 1989 & “You Belong With Me,” isn’t so bad.
• I like rap & Hip Hop when it’s not about girls and sex.

Call me fake for not being my “authentic self” every day, but there are a bunch of judgmental bitches out there and I gotta let them love me rather than judge me.

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